A Future You || A Current Me

There you stand, so confident and tall, with shoulders rolled back and your deep brown eyes looking fearlessly at the horizon before you. I wonder what is going through your mind right now. But looking at your relaxed eyebrows, smiling dimples, and perfectly serene face, I suppose you are well. And that is comforting to know.

The two of us stand quietly, almost side by side, with me a few steps behind you. We watch the ebb and flow of the ocean waves together, feeling the cool water swash against our bare feet and tingle our toes. At that moment, I feel connected to you. Our souls seem to vibrate at the same frequency while our fleeting thoughts swim, searching and reaching for each other in this glistening seawater, in the conductor that links our similarly shaped bodies. A soft orange hue paints across our skins as the sun peeks curiously at us from afar. The rainy, cloudy, and starless dark skies of so many nights before feel like a distant bad dream now. Gently but purposefully, you turn your head in my direction. Just like you, I have yet to move an inch from my spot; I am still a few steps behind you. In a kind voice, you tell me, “I believe in you.” Tears well up in my eyes. With those few words, all of your love, optimism, and everything I crave for torrent into my soul at once, overwhelming me and rekindling emotions that I have long forgotten I am capable of experiencing. I have always thought I am not worthy. I have always thought I have nothing to look forward to. “I believe in you,” you assure me again, even as my uncontrollable worries and scalding doubts spill forth from my soul and, like an oil slick nobody wants, poison the foaming salt water that is brushing lightly against our warm skins in a rhythmic chill tempo. You understand me. You have been through those long dreary days with me. Though unlike me, you have kept your spirit. Those qualities I admire in you now, I remember I used to have them as well. “Do you believe in me?” You ask whilst holding your hand out to me. I look at your open palm and then at my closely placed feet, where the continuous uprush and backrush of fluid are, little by little, sweeping my heavy thoughts and feelings into the oceanic abyss out of my reach. We are the same and yet we are so different. The thought lingers on my mind for a moment when I look up to meet your patient gaze. But maybe, just maybe, I can be you, too. Taking a deep breath of the fresh early morning air, I step forward, towards you. My bare feet leave clear defined indentations on the wet sand where they have stepped on. One, two, three, until you are within arm’s reach. I am hesitant but I raise my hand and touch yours, our palms having the exact same lines of destiny running across them and our fingers with the exact same unique prints. My deep brown eyes meet your deep brown eyes as I firmly reply to you, “I believe in you.” Yes, that is right. I believe in you — the past, current, and future me.

Cailin Chua (a.k.a. KuroKairin) is a digital artist from Singapore who also dabbles in writing. When she is not drawing, they may be writing (fan)fictions, game reviews, or even music.

Twitter: @KuroKairin

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